Nellie saw Blake narrowing his eyes at her and frowned, was he mad at her again already? Of course she’d screw this up also, why would things be any different? Nellie relaxed a little when she heard him laugh though, him laughing was always a good sign. She widened her eyes at his question and her eyes immediately found themselves staring at the floor, she was so embarrassed right now, “I-I don’t think so, but then again I wouldn’t be all too surprised to find out if that was the real you. All of the guys I like tend to turn out to be douches, like my last boyfriend.” She motioned to her short hair, though it has grown a considerable amount since she cut it, it still wasnt long like before. That was a guy that she’ll never come back to, even if he was the last guy on earth. That’s how much he hurt her.
Nellie’s breathe caught when she heard Blake saying he liked her. Is this a dream? Did Blake finally admit to liking her like she likes him? “I…I like you also Blake, for the longest time now.” Nellie could tell the blush had reappeared on her face and looked back down at her shoes, not really wanting Blake to see her when her face probably looked like a tomato right now, that’s how red it gets.
Nellie could feel the blush fading away and getting lighter, so she finally looked up at Blake and smiled. It was good to know Blake actually liked her, and that he really wasnt the type to just kiss someone and not call or text them ever again. Of course she wouldn’t blame him, with all that’s going on with his mom and all. Nellie was surprised he left her side, let alone the state.
Blake gave a slight shake of his head at the mention of how her last boyfriend ended up being a real douche. “Hey, my last girlfriend ended up being a real bitch…you think you’d know a person after three years.” Every single person had to have that one partner that you thought was so amazing at first, but ended up ruining everything. It was an easy thing to relate to, and Blake’s sympathy went right to Nellie. Obviously it had to be something bad, or else she wouldn’t have brought it up. The event on whatever happened wouldn’t still be lingering in her mind. If he knew who the guy was, and they just magically bumped into each other, it was doubtful that there would be a civil conversation. When it came to people he loved and cared about, Blake wasn’t the most mature person in the world. Sometimes, he just needed to give someone a good punch to get their senses knocked into them.
Blake smiled as Nellie said she’s liked him for quite the long time. Again, Blake looked over at Nellie. “Then…what does that make us exactly?” He asked a bit hesitantly. It would be a slap in the face if it turned out Nellie wasn’t ready for a relationship, or she brought up the whole mom thing and said he wasn’t ready for a relationship. He liked Nellie. And honestly, it’d be great to have someone he trusted so much to actually be with him. You could never be so sure with that sort of thing. And since Blake couldn’t even read through Nellie and get that she liked him, he was second guessing how easily he could tell what she was thinking.
Nellie could still feel her face burning red from the electrifying kiss she had just shared with Blake and moved her hand up and felt her forehead just to make sure it wasnt just her developing a fever since everyone around her seems to be getting sick. Nope, it was just her blush. She looked back up at him once she heard his familiar voice and was kinda shocked he couldn’t read the message she was trying to send through. He could read her like a book even when she didn’t want him to, but now of all times he was clueless? It was things like this that Nellie questioned the world. Nellie looked back up at him and smiled gently, “Nope. Well, i dont know.. do you actually like me or was that a ‘lets get her to stop crying and disturbing the whole house’ kiss? Nellie begged in her jumbled up mind that it was option number one and he actually liked her and not option two and did it to shut her up.
Nellie bit down on her lower lip and looked up at him with curious eyes. She really did want him to like her, but if he didn’t this was all just a big waste of both of their times. She sat up and sat criss cross with her hands fumbling her charm bracelet, which has kept her semi sane through everything she has been through her whole life. It was like a little reminder that she needed to stay strong for everyone who couldn’t be, everyone who didn’t but wanted to be. Nellie reached her up to Blake’s face and brushed some of his straight hair out of the way of his brown eyes, letting her hand rest on his flushed cheek as she waited for the all too important answer to come.
Blake narrowed his eyes at Nellie. He shook his head, giving a small laugh, his gaze dropping down to the floor. “Do you really think I’m that big of an asshole to do that?” He questioned, slowly looking back at Nellie. He honestly didn’t get where she pulled that from. Kiss her to calm her down? Did people even do that? Seemed like a real asshole move. He wasn’t the type to mess round with others feelings or pretend to like someone to make them feel good for the moment. No, not at all. He liked Nellie. He has for a while. Guess everyone could call it and chant about how right they were and how wrong he was. He didn’t care though. Why would he? None of it mattered. Not if Nellie actually liked him. Not if she actually wanted to be with him. He had to admit, just the thought itself wouldn’t allow his smile to erase from his face.
"I like you, Nellie." He said once she brushed some of the hair out of his face and let her hand rest on his skin, that to him he felt like was burning past his very flesh. He didn’t really know what to think. Blake felt rather stupid for some of the thoughts that were passing through his mind at that moment. Taking her paranoid thoughts into her own, second guessing if she was just saying these things because she felt bad for him. He knew the thoughts were irrational though. So he calmed down a lot, to say the least.
Nellie laughed when he joked back, “True. I think Hot chocolate sounds better though. More flavor.” Nellie bumped her knee with his like he just did with hers and laughed under her breathe. Only Blake would be capable of making her go from in tears crying to in tears laughing. It was one of the many reasons she fell for him, that and his perfect smile and kind personality and well… everything. She liked everything about him. She shook her head, “You’re such a goofball Blake. I swear.” She realized just how happy Blake made her felt. Just with one line he had already made her forgotten about all of the sadness and grief she felt for the past month or so, just in one single line that was too cheesy to function.
Nellie looked back up at him and tilted her head. He looked torn about something, something Nellie didn’t know about. She opened her mouth to speak but didnt have any time to say some words or ask him whats wrong or just anything before his lips were on hers in a soft gentle kiss. Nellie closed her eyes and melted into the kiss, leaning in just a little bit to let Blake know she felt the exact same way as he did. Nellie soon pulled away and just looked at him, touching her lips softly. All that was running through her scattered mind at the moment was ‘He likes me? Or was that a pity kiss or calm me down and to stop me from having another mental breakdown like at the hospital from when I visited Rissa?’ Nellie just stared at the boy in shock, then she felt her face turn red and looked away sheepishly.
Blake’s smile remained on his face considering Nellie was now laughing. Her laugh did that to him. Just as her smile did. If she was happy, it was weird, but he automatically was. Her laugh was a contagious thing, but it was great feeling. He just loved seeing her happy. Each moment just seemed so great when he was with her. Even though all the tears happened, he didn’t regret a thing. Sadly, it’s almost impossible to be best friends without watching each other cry. That’s what best friends are for, right? To pick you up from that dreaded state and make you laugh. Make you forget about whatever had gotten you down. Nellie’s down that for him, and he only hoped that he had the same affect on her.
She pulled away and stared at him. The look she gave caused him to bite down on his lip and look right back at her. He wasn’t sure if what he did should be regretted, or if it was all well worth it. He couldn’t tell by Nellie’s reaction, and he was practically petrified to find out. “Was…was that wrong of me?” He asked, slight concern showing through his face as he tried to search for answers in Nellie’s body gestures and facial expression. For once in their friendship, he couldn’t read her. He hated it. He hated just not knowing. He hated feeling confused. Sometimes he just hated the fact that for some odd reason, everything had to be so complicated. Feelings were complicated. Emotions were complicated. And they were things you just really couldn’t escape.
Nellie heard footsteps coming closer and closer to the spot where she sat and pulled herself in tighter. She really didn’t want to see Tyler or Abraham at the moment and she figured Blake would just be coming in to ask her about what she said to him before panicking and racing into the kitchen. Nellie stared down at the ground and didn’t bother to look up, she already knew who it was by the shoes and of course, was too scared to speak for she was not prepared for a reply. How could he even look at her the same way after her little outburst back on the couch? If she was Blake, she would have just left right now and forgotten all about the messed up little girl inside of the apartment. Why was he still here when she clearly only made his life worst at the moment?
Nellie could hear him sliding down next to her and flinched a little as she felt his arms wrap warmly around her. Nellie looked down at her charm bracelet but looked up once she heard Blake’s voice asking her in such an innocent tone that she couldn’t resist. Nellie slowly turned her head toward the brown haired boy and bit her lip, telling herself not to cry once more. Just the sight of the boy made her feel guilty for bugging him about Miami and her feelings about him and she was just confused. Confused how someone so perfect could be friends with her. “W-What is it Blake? I know you didnt just come in here for some water.” She laughed a dry laugh and shook her head, even when she was upset she could still joke around.
Blake gave a smile as of course, she decided to crack a joke. It was, yet another thing to the never ending list to why he liked her so much. Although things weren’t in the greatest position at the moment, she still made some joke. She was easy to joke around with. If they both really wanted to, they were capable of forgetting what had just taken place. But that would be a pretty wuss move of Blake, wouldn’t it be? “I don’t know, water seemed pretty nice.” He joked back lightly. Knocking his knee into hers as substitution to a playful shove. Blake had in mind what he wanted to do. But fear swept in. He didn’t care for rejection….Alright, maybe he feared it a bot. Just like how he feared snakes and mushrooms. But this was different. It was a risk. And Blake should just man up and go for it, shouldn’t he?
Go for it. He told himself. Everyone declared that the both of them liked each other, but what if they were wrong? What if he went for it, and she didn’t like him? At least not like that. Things would be awkward. So awkward to where it couldn’t ever not be awkward. Or what if she pitied him? And went along with it only because of that? This is where the knots in his stomach returned and the instinct that Nellie was so familiar with, came to Blake and he wanted to just flee. Before he could change his mind any farther, he inched his head closer to his until their lips became attached slowly and calmly. Soft and timid. Scared, yet strong.
Nellie pushed herself up onto a sitting position and bit her lip as she noticed they were now looking at each other eye to eye. Why was he so easy to talk to that things like this could slip out? Nellie sighed and brushed the last few tears from her cheek and looked back at Blake. Nellie looked down at the ground as Blake calmly asked her what she had said before, and she was sure she meant the part about him not liking her. If he didn’t like her before, she was sure her crying and making him tell her about his mom made him not like her now. “I said no wonder you dont like me. Because i’m too much to handle.” She crossed her arms and glared at the ground, she probably looked like a toddler who didn’t get the toy they asked for. She sighed and got up, “I-i’m going to get a drink now.”
Nellie walked quickly towards the kitchen and paused to see if she was out of Blake’s view before sliding down the side of one of the many wooden cabinets they had installed and covered her eyes with her hands. How could she have been so stupid to actually believe a guy as perfect and sweet as Blake could ever like a girl so messed up and awkward like her? It obviously is one of those things that aren’t ever meant to happen, she knew that. Nellie pulled her knees up to her chest and placed her chin on top of them, staring straight ahead at the cluttered dining room table that Tyler, Abraham, and her rarely ever use anymore. They used it a lot when they first moved in together, but now it was just another useless decoration. Maybe that’s what Nellie is too Blake, a useless decoration that is hardly in use anymore.
It seemed like it went by so fast. As if he had no time left to react. Next thing he knew, she said something and got up and left to the direction of the kitchen. What the hell was that supposed to mean? It left so many questions in his mind. Before he just exploded, he took a moment to calm down and lean his head back on the couch and shut his eyes, trying to gain more control over his thoughts and sort them out properly instead of them jumping to thought to thought. He wasn’t sure why she went to the kitchen, his ears were ringing after the first words she spoke. And still, that’s all he was thinking about. Did she like him? Why would she be so upset about all of this if they were just talking about being friends. It was obvious that they were best friends—that shouldn’t be questioned. Blake wasn’t stupid. He just was…denying it all. He felt it was nearly impossible. But could he really just sit here and do nothing and she’s sitting over there crying about all of this? He couldn’t. He’d tell her how he felt. But if it was true, and she really did like him, then he better prepare himself for some hardcore denial coming from Nellie.
Blake fluttered his eyes open and took one deep inhale in before exhaling out rather slowly. Blake rose to his feet and left to the kitchen. Glancing around, it didn’t take long to find Nellie slid down to the floor, hiding her face from everyone and everything around her. He looked at Nellie for a moment before sliding down to the ground beside her. “Nellie?” He questioned, hoping she wouldn’t just ignore him and keep her face berried. Blake put his arm around her, and moved closer to her small body. “Nel, come on. Look at me please?” He wasn’t exactly sure what he was going to do, let alone say once she finally did look at him. I guess he was just hoping that it would come to him once she finally did.
Lindsay laughed, noting what she assumed to be nerves in Blake’s voice. He had turned around so fast that she hadn’t been able to properly judge his reaction, but she figured he must be blushing to some extent. “A blunt one obviously,” she giggled as she poured an extra mug for Blake just in case he wanted any. He probably wouldn’t but just to be sure. Damian probably didn’t even like tea but drank it for her benefit. With the two steaming mugs in hand, she slowly made her way back towards the couch. “I’m only asking because I’m convinced that she feels the same way.”
She rubbed his arm reassuringly as she sat down. “I told you a secret, so you should return the favor!” she said in her most annoying sing-song voice. Their relationship was a lot like her friendship with Cam. Lindsay felt comfortable enough to be her entire self - even the immature, whiny part that came out whenever she didn’t get what she wanted. Since Damian and her had started dating, she’d dreamt of a proper date. Not that Damian didn’t take her on romantic dates, but she wanted a certain kind of date. A fun, double date with another couple to be exact. That was why she was so demanding that Marissa and Cam got together. Well, they kinda had feelings for each other too so that was an added bonus. It turned out as total bust though, much to her dismay. Now that she had her sights set on making Blake and Nellie a couple, matchmaker Lindsay was back and determined. “All I’m saying, Blake, is that if Damian and I had never admitted our feelings for each other then things would be extremely different. Who knows who would have ended up with who. I don’t like to think about it, but my boyfriend seems to find Nellie very attractive,” she said with a frown.
Blake rolled his eyes at the first statement she made, saying it was a blunt question. Then she commented that she was convinced that Nellie felt the same way. “She doesn’t.” He retorted rather quickly, not fully realizing that those two words basically made him admit that he did indeed like her. But it was true. He felt the exact opposite that Lindsay did. He was convinced that she didn’t think of him but anything than just a friend. It sucked, sure. But he’d much rather have Nellie as a best friend than nothing at all. He loved the moments he spent with her—the many memories that were made between the two. He could never ever forget Nellie, and was so thankful that he met someone like her. She’s opened his eyes to a lot of things, and helped him through numerous occasions.
Blake looked at Lindsay as she started whining. A say dragged out from his own lips. Blake generally was always himself. Nothing really held him back from doing anything but. He didn’t hide much, perhaps if he was having an off day, of course he’d keep it to himself. But even when he acted happy, it’s still how he was when he actually was happy. Most things didn’t stop him from being a complete dork and a goofball, it was probably something he liked. I guess he couldn’t complain much about tht because others liked the silly side of him as well. You could say it was a win win. Looking at Lindsay and taking the cup of tea she offered him, he gave her an odd look when she mentioned Damian finding Nellie attractive. “Is that necessary to mention?” Was she trying to get a rise out of him? Get him jealous? He basically mentally kicked himself in the ass considering he realized there was nothing to get jealous about. One, Damian was with Lindsay. Taken and happy. Two, Nellie wasn’t his to get jealous over.
“I’ll tell you why,” she said as she tucked a strand of hair back behind her ear. “You’re quite a catch, Jenner. I just wish you would see it!” Lindsay sighed in frustration. At that moment, she just wanted to shake some sense into him. It was clear to her now that her little secret had done nothing to improve his mood but had only created an awkward nervousness. “Entirely past tense by the way. What I said…I want some tea!” She jumped up from her spot on the couch, quick to change the subject to something more neutral before she went in for the kill. Because if she were to be absolutely honest with herself, she hadn’t called Blake over to catch him up on cast gossip or tell him stupid old secrets. She wanted to grill him about Nellie and his feelings for the girl.
For a few minutes, all that could be heard in her small apartment was the sound of her arranging the necessities for her tea. Lindsay was trying to figure out the right words to use to not sound like she was ambushing him or forcing any confessions on his part. Blake was probably still trying to digest her own confession. “Sooooooooo, I was talking to Nellie earlier. Remember her? Your best friend and my ‘love child’?” she added quotations marks around the phrase with her fingers, smiling. “Not to be intrusive but…well, actually yeah. I’m a meddler, that’s who I am, anyway what are your past, present, and future feelings for her?” Lindsay leaned against the doorframe of her kitchen, staring at him curiously.
As she exclaimed that she wanted some tea and jumped up, Blake jumped as well, but more from being startled and he wasn’t actually getting up, but stayed in his seat. Girls were weird, that was his conclusion. He gave up trying to figure them out a long time ago. They seemed to always be thinking about things that were completely irrelevant. His mind was still on the secret she confessed. In no way did he think that she liked him ever, let alone her still liking him. He just was a bit dumbfounded that she used to have some type of feelings for him. He always thought it was weird when girls liked him. He simply couldn’t figure out why. Most of it he assumed it was just because of his looks or whatever. Most of the girls that come on to him, barely even know him. Not that it irked him by all means, it flattered him and it was an easy way to make him smile. And to think that a girl like Lindsay used to think of him that way? It was a nice thought.
Blake stayed slumped in his seat as she went up in the kitchen and made her tea. He heard bunch of clutter, but stayed facing forward, not bothering to speak or turn around to check what she was doing. Not until she spoke that is. Once she spoke, he turned around out of habit to look at her, but he quickly regretted it considering that lovely topic came back up about Nellie and him. He could feel his cheeks start to burn, so he turned back around so he was facing forward and away from Lindsay so she no longer could see his embarrassed face. “What kind of question is that?”
Nellie blushed a light pink when Blake caressed her cheek and lifted her head up gently so their eyes met. She wanted to look away, in fear of crying badly again, but she just couldn’t. Nellie could feel a few extra tears drop down her face and land on the raggedy couch and reached to wipe them away so they wont stain. “I-I’m sorry Blake. You just came over here for a nice reunion and I had to go make it all awkward by crying,” She sighed and laid her head down on Blake’s chest and mumbled in a quiet voice that Blake could barely hear, “Now I see why you dont like me. I’m too much to handle.” Nellie widened her eyes and covered her mouth with her hand and shook her head, “Y-You didn’t hear that right?” Of course Nellie wanted to tell him about her major crush on the guy, but this was not the way she planned to do it. This was so not right, she should’ve just kept crying.
Nellie widened her eyes when she looked back up at Blake and saw his eyes glazed and watery, like he was about to burst out crying like she did, “No Blakey. Please dont cry like I was. It’ll make my heart break to see you sad.” Nellie had to admit, the only main time she has ever seen him sad about something personal was in Vulnerability week when they were each telling stories and he told his about not stopping the bully from picking on that helpless kid. Nellie so wished Robert and everyone else weren’t in the room when he was telling the story, so Nellie could give him a huge hug without the contenders, especially Aylin and Abraham and Lily, thinking something was definitely up with them. Not that something was up, Nellie didnt even like him back then… much. although she had to admit she was super stoked when she was chosen to sing that duet with Blake during Adaptability week, since it meant time alone with him.
Blake shook his head. He really hated seeing her this way. Seeing her sad, near to crying, or breaking down…All of it seemed just as bad. No matter wait, it killed him to see her in pain. It’d upset him even if he saw her angry. Being angry and pissed off wasn’t a pleasant emotion, and even then he would want to help calm her down. He didn’t know what to do though. He didn’t know how to make Nellie feel better. He was mentally kicking himself in the ass for that. He wasn’t being a very good friend if he couldn’t even make her feel better. How pathetic. He leaned into his chest once again, causing him to frown. She mumbled something, and what he thought he heard was correct, but he automatically assumed that he was taking it the wrong way or that he probably just screwed up what she actually said. Giving a baffled look as she looked at Blake again he questioned her, saying “What?”
"Sorry…" He said, his gaze no falling away to the floor once again instead of on Nellie. He hated being upset, honestly. Not that anyone liked it—but he just hated the fact that, just like in this case, it causes Nellie to become more upset than she already was. He just wanted to make things better, but in fact, Blake just seemed to be making things worse. These thoughts tended to cross his mind quite often. He looked back at Nellie, hesitant to question on what she had said before. Why it mattered was obvious, but if she refused to answer, he’d drop it and leave it alone, fearing things would continue going downhill. "What did you say before?" He asked, his voice calm, but still only above a whisper.